Last night I was blessed to sit with people in pain following
the pointless murder of two and the suicide of another.
the pointless murder of two and the suicide of another.
The Willow Creek LDS Stake, here in Sandy, Utah, hosted an
hour of reflection and counseling following the murder/suicide near Brookwood
Elementary School this past Tuesday.
hour of reflection and counseling following the murder/suicide near Brookwood
Elementary School this past Tuesday.
The speakers were diverse, and represented many points of
view. Mayor Tom Dolan and Police Chief
Kevin Thacker spoke from the leadership of Sandy City. Other speakers included voices from Canyons
School District, the neighborhood itself, a social worker, and faith
leaders. The faith leaders were LDS,
Roman Catholic, Presbyterian and non-denominational.
view. Mayor Tom Dolan and Police Chief
Kevin Thacker spoke from the leadership of Sandy City. Other speakers included voices from Canyons
School District, the neighborhood itself, a social worker, and faith
leaders. The faith leaders were LDS,
Roman Catholic, Presbyterian and non-denominational.
There were some common themes.
- Grief is highly personal; it is not alike for any two
people. Not said, but I read an article
yesterday that compared grief to snowflakes and fingerprints. No two snowflakes or fingerprints are
alike. No grief situation is just like
someone else’s. Grief is highly
personal. - Be careful of bromides.
Trying to explain the unexplainable is risky. Yes, we believe that there is a resurrection,
but that doesn’t mean that there isn’t emptiness in this world, at this time,
due to this loss.
The late Mr. Rogers, a Presbyterian pastor, was quoted. He related that his mother responded to scary
news by telling him, ‘Look for the helpers.’
There were truly many helpers there on Tuesday afternoon, and they are
still there.
Paul speaks in Romans about how through God, all things can
work for good. It doesn’t even start to
mean that God made this event happen, but how do we draw from this senseless
act, good? That was the question of
Father John from Saint Thomas More Roman Catholic Church, ‘what do we expect
the outcome of this to be?’
work for good. It doesn’t even start to
mean that God made this event happen, but how do we draw from this senseless
act, good? That was the question of
Father John from Saint Thomas More Roman Catholic Church, ‘what do we expect
the outcome of this to be?’
Let me offer a few:
- Celebrate what we have, when we have it. I have offered several times that the sudden
passing of my brother prompted me to suggest to many the need to tell those you
love, that you do indeed love them. - Those in law enforcement and fire protection take these
kinds of things very seriously. They ask
‘what could we have done better?’ Here,
I think nothing. Three are dead, and it
is possible that without very prompt action by those first responders, two more might have died. When you see people in law enforcement, tell
them, in your own words, you appreciate their sacrifice and service. - Communities are important to how we are buoyed up in hard
times. The Anglican priest Jon Donne said that ‘no
man is an island’ but how many of us try and turn ourselves into islands? - Get to forgiveness. If we are not careful, lack of forgiveness can diminish our very souls. It can draw energy from us in our anger. But, encourage others to safely, for the angry and the innocent, get to forgiveness along their path in their timetable. Just as grief can be like a snowflake or a fingerprint, getting to forgiveness is not a cookie cutter we can pull out and magically produce healing. The more senseless, the longer and harder it will be.
God did not cause these murders and suicide. But God can help us in our grief and
emptiness.
emptiness.
Selah, Pastor Dennis
The Mindful Leader 